Although many Muslims may right now remain in failing marriages and on a fast lane to divorce and its dreadful repercussions, there are many methods to put their marital relationship back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to fix up. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marital relationships are currently in trouble or by Muslims who would like to prevent trouble in their marital relationship.
Lots of Muslim husbands and wives deal with each other like foes rather than partners. The other half feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The partner feels that she should squeeze everything she can from her spouse. Some partners never reveal their spouse that they are pleased with anything he does or purchases for them in order to fool him into doing and purchasing more. They make him seem like a failure if he does not give them the way of life that their friends and families enjoy. Some spouses speak very harshly to their partners, embarrass them, as well as physically abuse them. Their other halves have no voice or opinion in the family.
Marriage In The Eyes of Allah
It is very sad that this relationship which Allah has actually developed for the good has been made a source of contention, deceptiveness, trickery, tyranny, embarrassment, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.
Allah explained marriage really differently in the Holy Quran: ‘… He produced for you mates from amongst yourselves, that ye may stay in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and grace between your (hearts) …” (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
1. Do not be an Autocrat
Despite whether or not Islam has actually made the other half the head of the home, Muslims are not expected to be totalitarians and tyrants. We are taught to treat our spouses well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have stated: ‘The most best Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has exceptional behavior; and the best amongst you are those who act finest to their other halves” (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278( R) Sent by Tirmidhi).
2. Be Partners in the Choice Making Process
Follow the concept of ‘Shura,” and make decisions as a family. There will be a lot more consistency in the family when decisions are not enforced and everybody feels that they had some part in making them.
3. Never be Mentally
Never ever be psychologically, psychologically, or physically abusive to your spouse1. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, never mistreated his spouses. He is reported to have stated: ‘How could they beat their females in daytime as slaves then sleep with them in the night?”
4. Take care of Your Words
Be extremely cautious what you say when you are upset. Often you will state things that you would never state when you were not mad. If you are angry, wait till you relax before continuing the discussion.
5. Program Love
Show love for your mate. Be kind, mild, and loving.
5. Be Your Spouse’s Friend
Program interest in your mate’s life. Frequently, we live in the exact same house but know nothing about each other’s lives. It would be fantastic if the couple could work together for the very same cause or on the exact same job. They could possibly establish a husband/wife jail ministry, care for orphans in their house, or lead an Islamic weekend class.
6. Show Appreciation
Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your spouse feel that he is refraining from doing sufficient for the household or that you are not pleased with his work or his efforts, unless, obviously, he is genuinely lazy and not even aiming to attend to the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have stated: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not consider the female who has been unappreciative to her partner.” (where is this hadith discovered) Program your partner that you appreciate her. If she looks after the house and the children, do not take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one prefers to feel unappreciated.
7. Work Together in the House
The Prophet is understood to have actually helped his other halves in your house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing household chores, modern-day Muslim partners shouldn’t feel that they are.
8. Communication is essential
Interaction, Interaction, Communication! This is the big word in therapy. And it ought to be. Husbands and wives have to talk with each other. It is much better to handle issues early and truthfully than to let them accumulate till an explosion takes place.
9. Forget Past Problems
Do not raise past issues once they have been resolved
10. Live Simply
Do not be jealous of those who seem to be living a more elegant life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of satisfaction, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many true blessings in your life.
11. Provide Your Spouse Time Alone
If your mate doesn’t wish to be with you all the time, it does not suggest she or he doesn’t like you. People need to be alone for various factors. Often they wish to read, to think of their issues, or simply to unwind. Don’t make them feel that they are committing a sin.
12. Confess Your Errors
When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, reason him or her quickly. If possible, never go to sleep upset with each other.
13. Physical Relationship is necessary
Be available to your mate sexually, and do not let your sexual relationship be defined by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have said: ‘It is not proper that you fall upon your other halves like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand.”
14. Have Meals Together
Aim to eat together as a household when possible. Program the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the other half, appreciation for his/her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.
15. Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics
Never ever go over with others things about your marital relationship that your partner wouldn’t like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some couples, think it or not, complain to others about their mate’s physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Details about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.
Much of us treat our spouses in manner ins which we would never deal with others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and client. With our partners, we frequently do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are generally with our spouses at our worst times– when we are worn out and frustrated after a tough day. After a bad day at the office, other halves typically get back mad and on edge. The better half has most likely also had a tough day with the children and the household chores. Better halves and partners need to discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-fused with each other during these times, they will comprehend the factors rather than immediately believing that their spouse no more enjoys them.
Happy Muslim Marriage require perseverance, kindness, humbleness, sacrifice, compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness, and effort. Following these principles ought to help any marital relationship to improve. The essence of them all can be summarized in one sentence: Constantly treat your partner the manner in which you would like to be dealt with. If you follow this guideline, your marital relationship will have a much greater possibility for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.